If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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