So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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