the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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