If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
