he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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