Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
