I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
