Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
