She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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