sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
