I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize