So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
