Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
