I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just googled if crying burns calories
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
