I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
