If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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