Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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