hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
