I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
