I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
