she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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