Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
