god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize