i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
