i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
