And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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