I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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