two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
