i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
