i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
