what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize