And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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