So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
