i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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