she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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