No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize