...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
