is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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