i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Damn victory sex feels great
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
