If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
