its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
