I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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