I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
oh god was she eating orange peels again
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
