I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He did a backflip because drugs
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