Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
