I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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