I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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