Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
