the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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