weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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