That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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