In the future we'll all be gay
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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