i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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