he shaved USA in his pubs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
