So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
