All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
