Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She needs sedatives and a leash
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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