So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
