hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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