There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize