whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
