I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
