i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
